Friday, March 02, 2007

question #4: you're my inspiration

All the way from somewhere in Ontario, Canada comes a question from Christine.

"I would like to know about the person who has inspired you the most."

One person immediately came to mind. My wife Joyce.



Joyce and I first met at summer camp back in 1984. It was the summer before final year in high school. She was the lifeguard assistant and I was the canoe instructor, which meant we were both on the waterfront for most of the day. She, in her deadly bluegrey bathing suit, and me with...well... Let's just say I was happy to see her. During what little free time we had, we managed to form a good friendship. I hoped that it would lead to more, but I was shy(ish) and she lived as far away as could possibly be. Only about an hour, but I didn't have a car so it may as well have been overseas.



We continued to communicate after the summer, but only through letters. I've never been any good on the phone. I think the letters stopped after she started to date another guy from summer camp. He lived even further away than I did, but he had a car; or at least his parents were willing to drive him. They went to a few concerts together in the city and held hands, I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's all they did.



Six years later, after four years living away from home getting my first degree, I was living at home again and working as and educational assistant at the same high school I had graduated from and working evenings as a waiter at the local Smitty's Family Restaurant. One weekend afternoon, I felt the need to clean out my bedroom closet. After pulling out several boxes full of odds and ends I used to tinker with, I found a shoebox which had a stack of letters bound together with elastics. I had forgotten that they were there. Letters from Joyce. I suddenly wondered what she might be up to. I wrote her another letter and sent it to the return address on her letters. A sort of casting out into the winds of chance. I included my telephone number.



The letter I sent had a bit of an adventure. She, or her parents hadn't lived at that address for a few years. The new occupants were a Haldemann family who sort of knew where her parents moved to. They brought the letter to them. Joyce had moved to the big city and didn't come home on a regular basis, so the letter had to wait until one of those times. The day came, and I received a phone call. It didn't take long to discover that I really didn't mind talking on the phone. Conversation was easy. Let's meet. And we did.



Two years of dating and rings were exchanged. Four more years of school for me, four children, four different addresses, four vehicles, and fourteen of the most challenging years of my life; and not once have I been uninspired. And I have Joyce to thank for much it. You see, Joyce isn't your average woman. She's fun to be around, nurturing, creative, caring, nice to children and old people, and great with a keyboard. But the thing that inspires me the most, is that she is volatile. No, I didn't say vital...I said volatile. Let me explain.

About 10 years ago I heard an investment tip that was promising to make a number of people wealthy. I decided that it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up, so I took what cash I had and I joined in. The investment was in a stock on the VSE, and it was one of those stocks that you never really knew for sure what it was going to do. You had to watch it very closely and pay extra attention to it. If you saw it moving, you had to be ready to act. They called it a VOLATILE stock.

Recently, Joyce and I had a meeting with a financial advisor in hopes of us gaining a vision of a comfortable retirement 25 years from now. If we continue on the path we are on now, things seem like they will be just fine. But if what we want is more than what we've got now, we have to move our investments into something a little more volatile. It's risky, but the payoffs can be really good. And you have to be willing to do it.

My history with volatile finacial investments has not been good. In fact, I think I have approximately 3%left of my initial investment from that single transaction. But relationships are much different than money. My history with those has been a little better. I couldn't say for sure what kind of percentage I'm getting for what I'm putting in. There are a lot of ups and downs, and you really have to stay alert or you'll miss really important times. But I'm a better person for it. And I'm still willing to do it. All it takes is the heart and the right place to put your investment...and that I've got. Thanks Joycie.

14 comments:

mmichele said...

nice.

LDahl said...

AND don't forget she liquors you up and steals your chocolate!!! Doesn't get much better than that:)))
Brian, I always love it when I see how much you really care about your wife. I mean you really care about her..... not just what she can do for you but who she is. And you always sound so proud she is your wife. I like a world where at least some people have real values. I just read something that talked about how a marriage was about the commitment to the relationship not the two people. The relationship was like a third person and that was what was important. I wish I had gotten my head wrapped around that idea sooner in life. It sounds simple, but I think it is the commitment that is the most important thing that is being lost in these times.

Paul said...

Sounds like a good "investment" -

Christine said...

Good answer! :) She's just too cute.

You set a good example for some of us who are struggling to keep things together. I hope that my marriage will one day be as strong as yours. With love, anything is possible.

Oh and I'm from Mount Forest

Brian the Mennonite said...

Michele,
Indeed.

Lilah,
Oh, I haven't forgotten. She really is a well-rounded mate for me. And I'm not just talking about her backside. :)
If it weren't for my thinking that my promises meant something, I would have been DONE a long time ago. It's largely due to a choice. Even through occasional gritted teeth.

Paul,
I'm crossing my fingers. It feels right anyways.

Christine,
Thanks for the inspiration.
Keeping things together isn't always that easy. You know that well enough. Do you go with your head or with your heart? It's not always an easy decision.

esther said...

awhhhhh...

lettuce said...

Thats such a good metaphor, marriage as volatile stock.

I look in here now and then.... in fact, I found you (via Cream) before finding Joyce - but Blogger [more than once] wouldn't let me comment.....

But I had to comment after reading your question 1 post and comments. I've come on a rather similar journey and recognised a lot of what you are saying. Thankyou for your public honesty.

WithinWithout said...

Gorgeous story about a woman who's obviously very gorgeous in your eyes, Brian.

Thanks for sharing it.

Cream said...

Good post, Brian.
Joyce may be volatile but she is an investment for life. And surely a positive equity.

Brian the Mennonite said...

Esther,
You know it.

Lettuce,
Thanks for your encouraging comment. And I'm glad you were able to do it. When I was on old Blogger there was some sort of problem with my comment section. You had to do all sorts of alternative clicking options in order to make it go. Only a few really knew how to do it.

I think this journey of mine is quite a common one. Perhaps you've written about yours. And perhaps you'd be interested in sharing?!

Chris,
Thanks. She's a hotty.

Cream,
She is...but even so, you just never know, do you?! I think of you and your marriage often. Ideals are wonderful, but then occasionally reality creeps in.

Romeo Morningwood said...

Investing is another term for Gambling..the higher the risk the greater the chance of return or complete failure...and the Feds dish out Bonds like a drunken whore during shore leave with NO CHANCE of ever repaying them once 1/3rd of the population is retired in 15 years..but what are ya gonna do.
I am delighted that your largest investment is in your relationship and that it is paying such high dividends..
amazing what a little sweat equity can do eh?

TiG said...

Great post, Brian. :)

It sounds like you've assured happy return dividends for years to come.

Brian the Mennonite said...

Donn,
I've always wondered the same thing and would often want to pull on some shirt tails and ask, hey, isn't that a sin too? I never did ask though. I think I know what the answer would have been...or felt like.

Shelley,
Welcome here, Lady...and thanks.
I hope your prediction comes true.

Louise said...

Great story!! That is very sweet!!
She is a beautiful lady!!
Isn't marriage great?!?!