The wonderful thing about this day, the last day of classes before the winter break, is the excitement of my wife on my arrival home from work.Normally, on any other given day, she usually has a frown for me if I stand in the kitchen and open a can of suds before all the daycare kids have gone. I'll sometimes stand around for an hour and finish off a couple before all the little darlings (aka: snot-encrusted beggers) have gone.
This day, the long-awaited holy day, after seeing my approach on the driveway, Joyce bounds to the refrigerater, and with one gigantic leap, crosses the ten metres from the fridge to the back entrance, and places an exceptionally frosted one in my deserving hand. I say deserving only because it is a hand that is ready to share.
Before I am ready to actually grasp the drink, I must first put down a familiar load. Joyce is well-aquainted with this burden. It's the anticipated weight of the season.
Joyce removes the yoke, and bears my yuletide burden yet again. Gratefully I sigh, and receive her offer of liquid refreshment...nourishment.
As I sit back and renew my strength, Joyce is busy attacking the burden which has so plagued me this day. By the time my anxiety has all but vanished, she has disassembled, evaluated, and categorized my lot into a fairly managable sum.
And it always adds up the same: White + Dark + Milk + With Nuts = Fat Ass
11 comments:
i've heard that some teachers complain about this gift thing. your little stash looks great to me.
(i must say i toyed with the idea of wrapping up a six pack for joey's favourite young adult male math teacher, with a STRICT admonishment not to open the gift at school but chickened out.)
Let me get this straight,what you are saying is; Joyce gets you liquored up and steals your chocolate? And you're grateful for this? ...you know, I think I'm understanding why you have such a good marriage!!!
Michele: It's a GREAT stash...always is. But Joyce is the one who is jumping up and down at the door when I come home with it every year. Like a kid in a candy shop, bull in a china shop, taco in a nacho cheese factory...
She's excited.
Lilah: That's right. I've never been as large a fan of chocolate as she has. I get more enjoyment from watching her rummage through the box of goodies. We do make a good pair.
Darrel will take that tin of Tim Horton's coffee off your hands. You know, to lighten your burden - just thinking of you! Merry Christmas!
Janice: I'm sure he would. I think I should bring it to mom and dad's on the 27th so that we can have some good coffee for a change. See you then.
Okay, I know your probably trying to get my goat, but you do know that the gathering is on the 26th, right?!
Wishing you, Joyce and the fam a happy holiday. It already looks yummy to me! So that's where this chubby ass comes from, good to know! ;)
All the best!
C
Janice: You've got goats? I bought a donkey and a piglet for someone overseas through World Vision. We're just a couple of farmers, you and I. :)
Christine: Thanks, and the same to you and to all yours. And here's to our chubby asses, too.
Smartass! or maybe I should say smart-fatass!
Ho!Ho!Ho! What a great class you must have! And your wife clearly needs that iron to keep her energy levels up for coping with sprogs.
Just in case the 40 thing still rankles...you would be one of the youngsters to whom I'd need to explain Bonanza! There! Now I've cheered up everyone!
(PS Donkeys and piglets? We just did buckets and seeds)
I'll read you next year.
Have a great Christmas, Brian! Don't eat too many chocolates!
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