Monday, June 05, 2006

Good Morning

We all have them don't we...a person in our lives that just seems to rub us the wrong way. Some of these people, when doing their best rubbing, seem to find the most annoying times to do their rituals, making the pain all the more, well, painful.

Mornings are often difficult enough for some people without having to deal with a Proverbs 27:14 greeting. There's something insanely irritating about a loud, uninvited, and insinsere "Good Morning." On the other hand, there's the man from the Viagra adverts who, you know for damn sure, is, understandably, loud and, on the verge of explosion, sincere. It's hard to hate a man for being so genuinely happy.

I recently received this forward:

"In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly
population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. "
Normally, forwards are like those unwelcomed loud morning greetings, and I immediatley delete them. But not from this source...she always has a sincere, and thoroughly thoughtful greeting for me.

6 comments:

andrea said...

That's one of those classic forwards that I don't mind reading again! Thanks for the chuckle.

kyknoord said...

It's frustrating to have your ire hamstrung by happiness.

Brian the Mennonite said...

Andrea: actually I'm quite embarassed of my blog lately...I think my posting has really sucked in the last while. But thanks for the friendly encouragment. You've always been good to me.

Kyknoord: Me and my ire are quite happy together...until about 9:00am anyway when my students arrive.

gautami tripathy said...

This is one good forward! At least it made me laugh!

Romeo Morningwood said...

LOL
I guess that I'll have to BONE up on my chemistry. Considering that there will be 8 perky sets of knockers for every surviving male over the age of 70 the future looks bright.

Old folks homes are gonna be like swingers clubs!"Grrrr..you saucy minx...cough..Oh Henry you rascal..cough..wheez..giggety giggety..aarrgh!...are you OK Henry...'The Russians are Coming'..it ain't the Russians... Henry you old poop!....head towards the light...gasp...Henry..HENRY...Nurse..NURSE!"

Testicle tucks will be soon covered by Medicare (ever seen the old guys swingin' down the hallways?..OMG!)Will anyone be showing up for Bingo on Tuesday nights?
Woohoo!

Bobita said...

Very, very, very funny.

I'll be back so that my irreverent husband can get a chuckle too!